The relationship: Four Seeds

Our hope for a good relationship is to get emotional supports, social satisfaction, have our basics needs meet perhaps, and get a sense of overall fulfillment.

Healthy relationships are characterized by

•  Each partner feeling complete within themselves
• Accepting the other for who they are
• Each one recognized and apricating the change which is bound to occur each other
• Each one able to set some limits based on their personal standard and worked towards coming to balance between togetherness and scariness.

 

We may also have a sense that what might cause to an unhealthy relationship

•  Poor communication
•  Unresolved conflicts
•  Not able to spend time together
•  Abuse or violence

In reality, though it’s not easy to have a perfectly healthy relationship and tick all the boxes that I mentioned above, always try to avoid behavior that is unhealthy.

So, what we can aim for the baseline foundation of relationship or what we could do to make our relationship healthy.

So, there are four C seeds which make our relationship healthy

1.     Communication

2.     Co-operation.

3.     Compaction

4.     Compromise

The foundation of a good relationship starts with open and honest communication as much as possible, as we need to know each other, and we start learning about each other’s likes and dislikes that’s when the next seeds come into the play.

We start learning to co-operate each other but the most important seed which is of compaction, as you start learning each other’s vulnerability, this is the time to be kind and more accepting each other especially when you know they are going to more vulnerable time, the compaction towards each other is particular more important this time.

 

 

Don't live the Life of "I"

The most selfish one-word letter is "I", everything revolves around I and what is I stands for, I stands for expectations. E.g. 
·                I should be treated like this.
·                I should be loved like this.
·                I should be dealt like this.
·                I should be respected like this.
·                I should be given these many marks.
·                I should not be given this.

We all are leading a life of super high expectations, everything revolves around.
·                My opinions.
·                My desires.
·                My likes.
·                My dislikes
·                I loved this.
·                I want this.
·                I don't want this.
·                I, I, I, I, I.....

You think life will be a very happy life when it revolves around “I”.

From our childhood we are grown up like this, we only learned to take and everyone has to full fill my expectations, everything is up to my expectations.

The more we lead a life of "I", our eye will always be frustrated because people don't exist in this world to just fulfilled your expectations.

Therefore, the most selfish one-word letter is I, and I extends for expectations and therefor avoid this word.

How do you avoid this word, be realistic in your expectations, having expectations is not a problem but understand that everyone will not fulfill your expectation.

Secondly avoid this word "I" by trying to serve others, because when you want to be served you depended on people they may not serve you, when you want to serve who can stop you. When you want respect, people may not respect you but when you want to give respect, who can stop you.

When you want to be loved, you may not be loved but when you want to give love who can stop you.

When you want charity, people may not give you charity but when you want to give charity who can stop you and therefor learned to begin your journey from I to YOU.

The more you want to yourself, you will remain frustrated. The more you want to give you will remain happy.

ADVICE from Gaur Gopal Das